10-18-15
When I first started this book, the Success Principals, my only goal was to learn how to become wealthy. I had no idea where this book would take me, I never dreamed I needed to change on the inside, how I think, how I am, who I am even. I still have the goal to be wealthy, even wealthier now that I know I can be. But wanting to be wealthy is miniscule to wanting to be whole, to figure out who I really am. To getting in touch with my feelings and emotions and connecting with my kids and my family and to really have close friends. For years my daughter Julia has been trying to get me to get this, but I just could not see any benefit in it. Being close to people only meant pain, for me there was no upside. One of the Ted Talks I watched said that one of the basic human needs is Love and Connection. After thinking on it I have accepted this to be true.
It’s ironic I think, I finally accept the idea that being close to people is good, and I want to get closer to family and friends, and I just moved to the opposite side of the country, almost as far away as I could possibly get and still be in the United States.
I wonder, was this just crappy timing, or is there a reason for the timing?
I like to think there is a reason; I completely missed the point of the book when I read it years ago, I wasn’t ready then. When I went through the Landmark forum, which has a lot of the same teachings, I was told I was un coachable. I really thought I was doing everything they taught (I used to think I was smiling too) but it just was not sinking in. It felt like they told me to draw a door on a wall then open it and step through it. To me that was impossible, even if I was awesome at drawing 3D pictures and drew a realistic looking door, I could never open it. I did get some benefit from going through the Landmark forum, but not the real breakthrough I was looking for, I wasn’t ready then ether. But that planted a seed, I don’t think the book could have reached me like it has if I had not done the forum when I did and had all that time with those thoughts running around in the back of my mind.
On 10-13-15 while riding my exercise bike, I listened to the part in the book where Jack says Principle #2 is knowing your passion, at this time I’m not sure what my passion is so I figured the next step is to figure that out. I wanted to get off the bike and think about it, but I did not want to have an excuse for not exercising so I finished the bike. When I got off the bike I got distracted doing thing that needed to be done and forgot that I wanted to focus on learning my passion. Then latter that AM while walking the dogs the thought just popped into my head that my passion was helping people. At first I thought, I’ve spent most of my life avoiding people, I like being alone… But I also realized I like helping people who need help. So there it is my passion, or at least one of my passions “helping people who need help”.
I started listening to the book, the Passion Test by Janet Bray Attwood and Chris Attwood again. I figured now would be a great time to learn my passions. I actually got this book over a year ago I think but when I listened to it then I could not answer the questions so I just stopped listening to it, until now. Now I am ready, at least more ready.
The book (or at least my interpretation) said make a list of 10 or so things I am passionate about. That I could not do, but it said start the sentence with, When my life is ideal I am__________ fill in the blank. This I could do. I actually came up with 12 I think. Then the book said to put them in order of importance, this was more difficult but I did it. Then the book said rate each one on a scale from 1-10 according to how they are in my life right now. Then take the top 5 put then on file cards and put then where I will see them and read them every day, on my mirror on my refrigerator, in my car etc. I did that. This is my list right now,
When my life is ideal I am happy 8
When my life is ideal I spend time/connect with my kids, and family 1
When my life is ideal I am in love with Debbe and her with me, I am the husband she needs 5
When my life is ideal I am in touch with my feelings and emotions 2
When my life is ideal I am a mega millionaire. 2
The book says my list may, and probably will change as I grow. #1 would be a 1 if I had not been studying the Success Principles. I gave it an 8 because I know as I grow I will learn that I can be even happier. I gave #3 a 5 for the same reason I know the Love I feel now is nothing compared to what will come. These may not be passions; they don’t feel like passions they feel like goals, but I feel good to have been able to put them on paper.
I do have two new goals; one is write a book to share what I am learning, after I figure out how to reach people like me, like I was. I believe I will be able to do this. The second new goal is I want to do a Ted Talk; someday I will be invited to do a Ted Talk.
Another Ted Talk that I liked, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lp7E973zozc by Mel Robbins, she talks about the 5 second rule where if you get an idea and you don’t act on it within 5 seconds you lose it. I can relate to that so now I make it a point to make a note in my phone right away, I have had to pull over a few times already to do this.
I am aware more and more that I am not the same guy I was. One example is I hate seasonal decorations, especially Christmas decorations. I think that started when my kids were small and I was really broke, I hated Christmas because I could not afford it. Any way I got an idea in my head a few days ago and today I made it, and decorated my house with a Halloween decoration. I never dreamed that I would ever decorate my house if Debbe didn’t ask me to.
This is the post light in my front yard.